Well well...sorry it's been a few days. I just got back into town from my brother's graduation, which was awesome btw! So proud! So anyway...besides unpacking and checking emails, what is the first thing I want to do when I get home?! Write!!!
Ok..So this third guy I'm going to write about...we're going to call him "Scuzz" or "Scuzzy," because that is the nickname he was given by all my friends from home....and you'll see why in a bit...
I met Scuzz my sophmore year of high school at a youth ministry retreat (go figure! It seems like I've met a lot of guys in my past through youth ministry LOL) where we were both confirmation candidates. I guess the whole weekend (and even before the retreat in class) he had had his eye on me, but I never noticed these things, because I would just go about my business as usual. I mean, really, who is looking for guys when you are taking confirmation classes?! I got bored in class, but I never got that bored....where I just start checking out all the guys and wondering what they look like with their clothes off...that comes later in life! jk jk
Anyway, we were on this retreat and it was the second night....just after one of those meditation sessions I told you we have before bed...to help us "wind down." Yea...there was definitely no winding down that night! Instead of going to bed right away, they let us stay up for a little bit and all the adults went to go do their own thing. Well, in the meditation room, where we hold small masses and ceremonies, a bunch of us decided to play spin the bottle or maybe it was truth or dare. Doesn't matter what game it was....all I know is that Scuzz landed on/was dared to kiss me. I have to admit, I did notice him a little when we started the game and I had hoped that I'd get to kiss him, because in my opinion he was the cutest guy in the circle. Later he told me he was thinking the same thing...."Wow this girl is cute and I really want to kiss her." I'll never forget what he looked like....because, honestly, he looked pretty dorky in his Miami Dolphins matching pajama top and bottom....but he had a cute face. So, anyway, we leaned in to kiss each other...and I guess, that's what started everything off...
I think I may have given him my number or AOL instant messenger name at the retreat and we started talking. One thing led to another and we were soon going out.
I remember Scuzz fondly my sophmore year, because I feel it was the year when he was the most honest and sincere with me. That year was the year I first saw a penis and went down on a guy... and it was the first time that I had someone go down on me (which was so awkward...story to come later). I remember one day when Scuzz and I took a shower together after having some fun with some whipped cream....He looked down at me with those brown eyes of his, water running down both our bodies and tracing every curve, and he said in the most sincere, genuine, and honest voice I have ever heard...."You're beautiful." I think I melted that day....Scuzz was the second guy I felt truly in love with....again, the thought of us getting married crossed my mind, since we went to the same church, had somewhat similar values, and also both came from an Italian heritage, which was extremely important to us and shaped our family traditions...
We broke up after a few months of dating my sophmore year, because he wanted me to hang out with him more and I couldn't give him that....see, my parents, being really strict, only allowed me to go out socially once a week (on the weekend...either Friday or Saturday nights)...even if the social event didn't involve money. They were real big on grades, education, and focusing on my extra curriculars, which I can understand.....It just sucked. I didn't want to break up with Scuzz, but it was like he didn't understand where I was coming from and I was tired of getting pressured to hang out more when I obviously couldn't drive and didn't have a choice.....I'll never forget the night I broke up with him....he was sick and had stayed home from baseball practice. He mentioned hanging out and this was the last time..the last straw...I was done!
Plus, it didn't help that he had told his whole baseball team about our whipped cream and shower romp around, aka: the reason my friends started to call him "Scuzzy," because he kiss and told and they all thought he was disgusting after that. Yea...and since our island is so small, like I told you before, it took only a matter of a day...maybe a day and a half...to get around to my high school (Scuzz went to high school in the next town over). So, I was done!
I didn't talk to Scuzz for months, but I had to see him in church and at class, so it wasn't like I could avoid him all the time....Silly girl that I was, I should have learned from my previous experience sophmore year....but I guess I didn't...or maybe I was just awfully curious and Scuzz knew this. Junior year of high school, March 3rd, 2003....Scuzz's 3rd on the 3rd...I lost my virginity to Scuzz....we had talked about it for a while. I had even made a special tape with Get-it-on-type songs....We parked at surfer's end and there's where I lost it...in the backseat of my '93 corolla, with my head shoved against the back door...yea. reaaaaaaal romantic....NOT! The first time sucked....so badly!!! I was like 'Great...why can't he stay in and WHEN is this going to get GOOD FOR ME?!!!!' lol
Anyway, I get back in after that night and get online...he pops up on AOL. And do you know what that damn bastard's first question is....Not 'How are you feeling?' or 'Are you alright?'....Nope, the first question he asks is: "So, when are we going to do it again?" Hah...I flipped out at him...and this time he didn't hear back from me for over a year. But, Mr. Scuzz....I kept him around for a long time, because he was my backup...he was the guy I knew would be down whenever I was home, whenever I wanted to....as long as it didn't interfere with his baseball schedule...Douche!
Scuzzy was those pair of shoes that you bought, you gave into them, thinking you were in love with them.....'Oh they go with this outfit, oh they look so cute....oh they fit'...until one day, they start to leave blisters. Small blisters that you can deal with, but blisters none-the-less....and he's the shoe that you couldn't let go of for a long time, after a while, only because of his looks...because you learned he didn't really have any relationship potential. You keep them in the back of your closet, bringing them out every so often, when you can't find another pair of shoes to match your outfit, but hating the fact that they aren't as comfortable as you once thought.....Scuzzy was like my pair of sequined brown heels. They are still so cute and shiny. They look great with khaki dress pants or a brown skirt, but I don't have many of those items in my closet and they hurt my pinky toes and give me blisters on my heels... I barely ever bring those brown heels out anymore....
I eventually got rid of Scuzz...deleted him as a friend from facebook, deleted his number from my phone...deleted all the contact information I had (this is when I started dating my recent ex). I figured, why should I keep this bad poison in my life...why should I stay in touch with a guy who every time he talked to me, it always got back to sex? Why should I keep this guy in my life who said I was the "only person he'd cheat on his girlfriend with, because we had such a past and he still loved me?" Mind you, I never ever ever hooked up with him when he had a girlfriend...that's not right and I have morals! Why should I try to stay friends with someone like that...why would I do that to myself, when I deserve so much more, both in friendships and relationships?
Bye bye Scuzzy...you stereotypical baseball toolbag guy (and you know I'm not lying....I mean, not all, but most baseball guys are douches)!
Funny Moments with Scuzzy:
Ok, so let's start with the first time I went down on Scuzzy....We had been talking about this for a while and I was really nervous. Scuzzy kept advising me to listen to a song with a good beat, like "Just put it in my mouth," (one of his favorite songs, GO FIGURE!) and practice by sucking on a popsicle. I did...just so I wouldn't be a total screw up. Now, come on....I know some of you out there have done this. If so, post something!!! Anyway, I practiced. So, Scuzzy came over my house one day and we walked over to the high school. We didn't try to go inside, because it was a weekend. Instead we went around the back of the school to a corner near where my marching band practiced field routines and I got down on my knees and did it. I don't know what I was thinking...there was a guy outside mowing his lawn a few yards away and I could see him through the trees...I hope to God that he didn't see us. Again, I guess when you are in high school hormones just run crazy! I kept looking up at Scuzz every couple of minutes, asking 'Is this ok? Am I hurting you? Am I doing this right?' I was trying all sorts of things...running my tongue up and down him....running my teeth lightly along him....Let's just say, and I've been told this by quite a few ex's, that I'm a natural! Idk...I always had oral fixations! lol jk jk
The shower incident: I had told my parents that I was going to this arcade downtown to meet up with a friend of mine and Scuzz to watch a DDR tournament. It wasn't a complete lie, because Scuzz and I did stop by and play a few games of air hockey, which at one point, I nearly broke his finger! lol After a few games, we walked to his mom's house, but first we picked up some whipped cream....the guy at the store totally knew what we were going to do with it, but we played stupid and said we were making sundaes...lol. So we got to the house, and we start making out...stripping down. Out comes the whipped cream....which we proceed to lick off each other in various places. Whipped cream, as you may have guessed or know, is sticky....so we jump in the shower. While in the shower, Scuzz starts kissing me and makes his "You're beautiful comment." Then he bends down, places my foot on the edge of the tub, and starts to lick me down under....next thing you know, I hear this noise. I look down and he's choking on water! I bust out laughing...I'm sorry, but it was just so funny and he was trying so hard to please me.....Needless to say, he really didn't finish anything in the shower. We got out, dried off, and walked back to the arcade, so my dad could pick me up.
Losing the V card: It was a cold night in March when I borrowed the car, telling my father that I was going to gymnastics practice (well....it was gymnastics, just not the kind he was thinking! jk jk). I drive to the YMCA, where we have our gymnastics practices...I always used to drive to the destination I was telling my parents I was going to, just in case they ever decided to follow me in another car. I sat there for a few minutes and called Scuzz up. I told him I'd be there to pick him up soon. After a few minutes passed, I go to Scuzz's house and then to surfer's end of the beach. Funny...Scuzz told his dad he was going to Walmart...lol! I think my lie was much more believable, since I was on the gymnastics team and it was still during the season. Anyway, we do what we do....the head cramming against the back door, the humiliation of it not feeling good, the frustration of him not being able to keep it in there, the disappointment of it all.....and I drop him off. I notice that...HOLY SHIT...the windows are still fogged and I'm supposed to be home soon!!! I pull into the YMCA again...I roll down the windows. Well that doesn't do any good, because it just makes the sweat and fog on the windows freeze! CRAP....'What do I do now?' I say to myself. 'Ah...let's try turning on the heat'....that started working and I was so excited! I started to drive home, worrying that the condensation wouldn't be gone by the time I got home, seeing as the Y is about 5 minutes, maybe 7 from my house....I pull into the garage, trying to keep my cool, and THANKFULLY....the windows are back to normal. I then inspect the car before going back into the house...
The next day my dad says to me: "Reaching for Reefs, gymnastics state finals were last night." I look at him and say 'Yes.' "Well how did you have practice if states was last night?" 'Well Dad, one of our coaches went with the girls who qualified for states, and our other coach had a final practice for the rest of us." 'Oh ok.' Phew...thank God I'm quick on my feet...my dad seemed to buy it, although who knows....he could have just been in denial.
Well, I guess that's all for my stories about Scuzzy...
Until next time,
Reaching for Reefs
i love the story about the fogged up windows! didn't know that lol!!
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