Animal print pumps: The rebellious shoe!

Ok...so I don't know what happened, but my last blog got deleted or something went wrong and like an idiot, I did not back up my posts...so it was lost. Lesson learned...save blog posts in a Word document! I'm going to start again pretty much from scratch...hope you find it as enjoyable as the first time! LOL

This next guy I'm going to discussed I am going to call Chris....

 I'll never forget when I first got to college August of freshmen year....my parents had flown down with me to help me move my stuff in and get all set up. I was so excited to be out of the house, going to college.... to make decisions for myself, and to be on my own....well, kind of! The first time I walked into my dorm room it felt like I was walking into a prison room or a room that should have been in an insane asylum, only difference being, there was one large window! The walls were all white with a brick pattern and they held NO heat! The small amount of furniture we had was not welcoming, the closets were miniscule (I mean, my closet at home put it to shame!) and the mattresses were hard and covered with a nasty green protective coat! How was I ever going to be able to sleep on this thing?!! Well, after a few stressful dorm shopping trips to Walmart and Target, I had everything I needed, including a lovely mattress topper! Yay!
So one day when we were getting back from my dorm shopping trip, I ran upstairs to the guys floor because I had to ask my RA a question...YES we had CO-ED dorms and YES the guys lived upstairs!! :)  As I rounded the corner, that's when I first saw him....the finest specimen of a man....he was walking out of the center bathroom of the dorm, a white towel wrapped around his waist, which accentuated his beautiful brown complexion. His arms were cut, his pecs toned, his hair in corn rows....I almost melted. I don't know if Chris saw me out of the corner of his eye this day or not, but I couldn't help staring at him, as if I were in a trance....before he could turn around and see me, I snuck around the corner and found my RA's door. All I kept thinking to myself was "YES! I am sooooo gonna love college!!!"

My parents and I went through a lot that visit...including a hurricane, the first of four my freshmen year (Yep, we were the hurricane class)!! When they left, I was a little sad, but more excited than ever!

I later found out, through several events, that Chris was an activator, an upperclassmen who was chosen to help first-years, like my roommate and I, with questions about college and to promote social events and ice breakers that would bring us all together. We saw him every once in while, out and about, but I never really talked to him until this one night he invited to his room for a movie. I guess my roommate, we'll call her the skank (you'll find out later), had befriended him at some point in time. Anyway, we went up to his room to watch this movie...I was pissed, because skank, although she knew that I liked him, chose to lay next to him in his bed, while I was forced to take the other bed! That night we slept over...and I barely could sleep, because I kept thinking that if she kissed him, I was gonna punch her in the face!!!! Thankfully, nothing happened between them that night.

Then came the second hurricane and we were being evacuated...but this time my parents weren't in town and I had no place to stay! What was I going to do?! Da Da Da Daaaah....Chris to the rescue! He invited skank and I up to Atlanta, where his dad and brothers lived. I thought to myself, 'Sure Why not?!!' So after a very long drive, we arrived. It was there in Atlanta, in his dad's house, that I became exposed and fascinated with black culture....the cooking and food, street basketball, the clubs, the Southern Baptist religion (although I know not all Southern Baptists are African American), etc....I was also exposed to racism when we drove through Southern Georgia, which freaked me out, because being from the North, people aren't that vocal about those kinds of things (and I'd like to think we are a little more open minded)...it was a little bit scary having a white man tell us that "the cameras are watching you" at the gas station we stopped at and then asking me and my roommate if we "were with them" (aka Chris and his two friends who also happened to be African America). After telling them yes, we were given an evil stare until we drove out of sight...

Anyway, I fell in love with Atlanta and I started to like Chris even more! I tried to get the point across, flirting and talking with him more and more. But I don't think it really set in until one day, when Chris' dad dared him to climb this rope...Chris made it 3/4ths of the way up before he slide down, getting bad rope burn on his hands....I tended to him, washing his hands, gently putting antibiotic ointment on his wounds....

That night we had a talk and a hard one at that. We both admitted to having feelings for one another; however, I told him about my predicament....see, my parents are kind of traditionalists in the fact that they don't really believe in inter-racial relationships. I've talked about this with them (and fought many fights about this) since I was young. I just really didn't see the point....my parents saying that it puts extra stress on the relationships and that the kids lose their identity in it all...anyway, I don't really want to get into this, but let's just say...it was a hard decision. I decided after a while, "What the hell...I'm on my own now, I'm a big girl, I can make my own decision, and my values are different from my parents.....I really like this guy, I'm doing it!" From then on, Chris and I were a couple!

We made one more trip up to Atlanta for the third hurricane we had; Chris and I getting to know each other better and his family too. I don't know what it was about him...he was just really fun, new, and different in the beginning. And I loved the fact that college didn't make limitations for us....we could have sex anytime, anywhere (including the girl's and boy's showers), and anyway we wanted! I loved it....not so sure our neighbors did, but I LOVED IT!

Then after a while, things started to change...our relationship got boring and dull. He rarely ever took me out on dates to the movies or dinner....all we did was watch tv, I would watch him play basketball...I don't know. And I felt like every time I brought something like this up, he would just shrug it off (maybe because he was two years older..idk) or he would do something sweet, like set up a treasure hunt for me with candy and my favorite movie scenes....but it would ALWAYS end with him wanting to have sex...and his new "sweet" behavior would only last a week or two before we were back to square one. The thing that really sent me over the edge was out 6 month anniversary, which was a big day for me because it was my longest relationship at the time....I didn't get anything, no flowers, no card, nothing....I was so disappointed!

Chris and I definitely had a lot of road blocks, including me breaking up with him for a weekend to go out with a friend from home...which turned out to be a bad decision on my part...let's just say the guy didn't turn out to be what I thought he would and the sex was HORRIBLE!

Besides not taking me out on dates and trying to please me outside the bedroom, he sure as hell didn't try to please me inside the bedroom either! At first, we had been having sex 3 times a day..literally. It phased out as it sometimes does...he complained. The thing was...he wanted to have sex all the time, but would not want to get me in the mood! What I mean by that is, he would refuse to go down on me or he'd complain about it. I don't know if it was a cultural thing or what, but I'm from the mindset that if you do a little something for me, I'll do a little something for you...and I was TIRED of doing a little something for him and not getting anything back. I don't know about you all, but going down on me is a full guaranteed way to get me in the mood! Even when I would talk to him about it calmly and nicely, I would get nowhere! And then he would complain when we did have sex: "Oh you're so dry...why don't you get wet anymore like you used to?" Well what do you expect buddy...I am an arid desert because you DON'T want to PLEASE me, you selfish asshole!

Oh, by the way guys...if you didn't know....getting a girl in the mood isn't just about touching her the right way...it's about the way you make her feel, the mood you set in the room....the small things you do that make her want to love you and please you.....so if your girl asks you nicely to do something for her, do it...because in the end, it's only going to benefit you REALLY! And if you both work at and want to please each other, then you will both walk away feeling satisfied both physically and mentally (which by the way, when I broke up with Chris I yelled at him about...not being able to satisfy me in any of those ways)...

Chris pissed me off....he REALLY pissed me off, so one night I went to a party with my friends, after leaving Chris on his own that night.....and there I met this guy. He looked at me from across the room and I was a goner...his curly dirty-blonde locks and bad-boy punk look did me in, but not as much as his blue eyes! We chatted, flirted, laughed and that night he left with my number and I left with an ego boost and a thought that I was finally going to get the attention I deserved....

The last straw finally came later, Halloween night of my sophmore year, when we were out at a campus party and Chris started dancing all up against this girl who was supposedly his "friend," yet she was always trying to hit on him and get with him! I had talked to him before about how I felt with the whole situation, how I didn't trust her, how I'd rather he not hang out with her, especially alone...that's it, I had had it! I was done!

I called the guy from the party up and I went over his place in my Playboy Kitty outfit...I looked hott and I wanted him to see me that way. FINALLY, I got what I wanted....he went down on me like no other person had before....I was being pleased for once and I LOVED it! We didn't even have sex....this guy's intention was to please me and only to please me...and let me tell you, he did a wonderful job! I left his place the next morning feeling reassured, knowing that someone else out there thought I was a bombshell and wanted me!

Now I know...this sounds horrible! I shouldn't have done it and I am by all means not trying to justify it. Cheating is unjustifiable...it was the ONE and ONLY time I ever cheated on a guy and it will never happen again! I don't know why I didn't just break up with Chris that night. I mean our relationship had gone down the tubes 6 months earlier and yet I still hung on for some reason, possibly hoping it would change...idk. But what happened happened and I broke up with Chris the next day. Don't worry...Karma did come back to bite me in the ass a few times, as you will see....one of those actually being with Chris....

So Chris and I didn't speak for about 3 years, until I heard through his sister that his dad had passed away...being that I met his dad and had been to his house, I figured it would be a nice gesture to pass my condolences along to Chris. I got his number from his sister on facebook and called him. When he got back into town after the funeral we got together to talk...it was interesting how much things had changed. We became friends, which then led to friends with benefits...I was ok with this...no strings attached sounded good right about that time! But then Chris started dropping cheesy lines like: "What if I got down on my knee right now with a ruby ring and asked you to marry me" and "What if you do get into grad school, what will we do?"...questions that would indicate there was more than just friendship there....and so I fell into his trap!

Later, I found out that he was two-timing me with this poor girl who was a year or two younger than me. I was actually more upset for her than myself....this poor girl had given up all her Christian values and her virginity to Chris and he was deceiving her! She thought they were going to get married! I yelled at Chris: "What do you think you are doing?! You better tell her RIGHT now what you have been up to...about all this! Oh...and I'm never speaking to you again!"

Dumb Chris...he tried to friend me on facebook a year or so ago...I felt so great when I hit the "Reject" button! Hahah...goodbye to you!

So...getting back to the shoe thing...Chris was a rebellious shoe I picked out...he was like a pair of animal print pumps for me. I don't know why I bought them in the first place, maybe it's because they looked exciting and different. The only thing I can wear them with is black...they don't go with anything else! I don't know what to match them with, how to pull them off, because I thought I could make them "me" and I definitely couldn't and I just kept thinking, how they are going to fit in my life?!!

Maybe animal print pumps work for some of you, but they sure didn't work for me....soo goodbye animal print pumps...you did not bring me the pleasure I thought you would!

Funny Moments with Chris:

I can only think of one...and only one: the time Chris got bit by a snake! Chris was a huge Nat Geo, Animal Planet, Animal show kind of guy...he loved watching them and learning all these facts! Anyway, one day we happen upon a black snake...Chris tries to catch it like the experts do on these animal shows by going for its head and covering its eyes, so that it will calm down and I'll be able to touch it....well, he misses and the snake bites him!!! Then Chris freaks out, because he's not sure if it's a poisonous snake or not...he proceeds to run water over the wound and then try to suck out the supposed "poison!" Lol...at the time it might not have been funny, but it definitely is now....

So besides that I got nothing, because to be honest, Chris annoyed me most of the time. He would preach about hypocritical things when he was drunk, he threw me into the creek behind Eckerd once when I had my cell phone in my pocket...I then had to spend several hours blow drying it...and he would try to pull "funny" pranks like throwing water balloons at me.....which then hit me in the eye and hurt like hell! Oh also....every time I tried to go to the gym with him, which only ended up being twice if that, he would yell at me, calling it "motivation".....yea, both times I ended up leaving the gym crying and to this day, that is still the reason I refuse to work out with guys!!!

Well....all I have to say is good riddance animal print pumps.....I really don't need you in my life!

Until next time,
Reaching for Reefs