After I broke up with Asshole, it was easy to want to swear off guys. I mean after all that mental, emotional, and physical pain he caused me, you can understand. It took me some time to get back in the dating game...I couldn't even look at guys for a while, because they disgusted me. Even when I did get back into dating, I was very cautious and slightly paranoid (but who could blame me right?!).
I didn't think of the possibility of dating anyone until months after. I was waitressing at this sports bar and grill, when my friend introduced me to Jon. I said hi, we had a short conversation, and that was it. I wasn't really into him (or anyone at the time), I mean he wasn't unattractive... he had that boy-next-door type look,which by the way, I get the same description all the time...."Oh you're cute! You are like the girl-next-door cute." Anyway, I had to be nice to him because he was a regular. You don't want to upset your regulars!
So a few more months go by and I forgot all about Jon..I even forgot what he looked like (he must have been avoiding days that I worked or something! jk jk). One day Jon is sitting in my section and I'm like...."Who is that cute guy?" I must have repressed the memory of meeting him LOL! Well I start talking to him, the people-person that I am, and we have a great conversation. He decides to invite me to a Halloween party that his sailing team is throwing. I'm down! I LOVE Halloween....I mean...I pick a new costume every year...I hate being the same thing multiple years in a row! And I make sure my costume is damn good...I mean as close of a replicate as I can be, whether it be little red riding hood, a playboy kitty, a genie, or a vampire inspired by the Twilight books...all of which I have been (and the list goes on).
So, the night of the Halloween party comes along, and by this point we have been talking on the phone and hanging out outside of work. He seemed like a pretty cool guy! Anyway, Jon comes with a few friends in tow to pick me up for the party...and he has a surprise for me! When he walks in the door, I am super happy because he dressed up like a pirate to the T!!! He even had his friends, we'll call them Anna and Marie, put on black eye-liner!!! He looked damn good...I mean he couldn't pass for Johnny Depp, but still, he looked damn good. And we matched....he had done it just for me! My costume that year was a HOTT PIRATE WENCH...I'm talking beads and braids in the hair, a pirate bandana, black fishnet stockings with ass-kicking ankle boots, and a sexy pirate outfit, which my friend Kim and I had ripped the skirt of so it looked short, sexy, and tattered!
That night we had a blast...I met all his sailing buddies! They were wicked friendly and loved to drink! There was drunken games of Twister, card games, beer pong, flip cup...the works! We had a great time...such a great time that the next night we partied at Eckerd! And the kids at Eckerd knew how to throw some Halloween parties!!!
Things moved kind of fast after that and soon we were dating (P.S. What is up with me finding guys at Halloween parties?!! LOL). We were going out to eat all the time, movies, drinking, dancing....good times were had my Junior year of college!
Jon and I would also hang out with my friends, which was so nice, seeing as my last two ex's (maybe even more) would not. Jon was a great guy (at least in the beginning)....he never made my friends feel like the third wheel! Sometimes, he'd even treat my friends to dinner too. He was a real gentleman (again I say...in the beginning)...pulling out chairs for people, opening doors, etc.
My friends liked him so much that they would invite the both of us over, not just me, for girly nights when we were scheduled to watch "Grey's Anatomy." Actually, this may have been my first mistake....letting a certain "friend" (mentioned prior to this post), the skank, get too close to him.
I don't remember exactly when it happened, although I do know that it was after our 4 week winter term was done and also after my birthday....but something happened in Jon's family. I never found out what, but it had to do with Jon's brother....Jon got very quiet, very introverted, and all the sudden I didn't hear from him for over a week. I was confused...everything had been going well with us, so even though there was something wrong in his family, it didn't mean he had to shut me out. But he did....he pushes away everyone he loves when life isn't going perfectly (which, really? When is it ever?)....I told him he could confide in me, that I loved him and I wanted him to be able to trust me, to tell me things...to at least let me help in that way.
Well, this whole situation got so bad, with him not calling me or talking to me, that one day I just told him.."If you want to break up with me, then do it!" And he did...I pretty much forced him to, but that's the conclusion he came up with. Fine!
So probably a week later he calls me and tells me he's sorry and he wants to make up for what he's done. He invites me over for dinner at his house (he was living with his parents and his parents were away for the weekend). He made some delicious Italian meal, he had candles, wine, the works, but I was still angry about what he did and I really didn't know if I could trust him. I don't think the dinner led to what he had in mind...instead it led to an agreement that we weren't officially together.
We still had feelings for each other though...it was quite clear! The only thing that had changed between us was the title. We still hung out together all the time, we still bought things for one another, and we still slept together, both in the sexual and literal sense. He was over my dorm room practically every night. I can definitely say I enjoyed sex with him! He wasn't the biggest I've had (and he wasn't the smallest either), but we had a hell of a good time, because we worked well together, listened to each other....the motion of the ocean LOL!!! We had such a good time that a few times the impossible happened....see, when I was with Asshole I FINALLY got my first orgasm....Yes, Sad, isn't it? I didn't get my first O until the age of 20 and I'd been having sex since I was 17!! For a while I was terrified I had some kind of psychological disease (I minored in Psych and had just taken abnormal psych, where we learned about females having a few diseases where they can't get off.....I was terrified I had one of those).
Anyway, getting back to what I thought was impossible.....you know in porno's when they show the girl get off and she squirts? Well I thought that was just a myth until Jon and I....I was on top, riding him hard like I always do (I love being on top!) and I just remember thinking about how much I loved him and how much I wanted to please him.....and as this familiar tingling sensation started to travel throughout my body...to my toes, my fingers, my inner legs....I kept thinking about how good it felt, how it felt more intense than ever, and how I wish I could do this every day, all the time....All the sudden I hear "Oh God!!" A half pleasurable, half surprised "Oh God" and I ask Jon what's the matter. He goes "You just squirted me in the eye!" 'WHAT? No way!' "Yea... you did...you squirted and it got on my face and in my eye" I looked down at my arm and he's not lying....it's like the water works went off! LOL All I could do was start laughing....who knew I had it in me?!!! :) LOL
So, yes, the sex was good. And that little reaction happened a few more times with him.
Moving on.....Jon calls me one day to see what I was doing. I had plans with one of my friends who was visiting from home. Well Jon, I guess upset because I didn't want to hang out with him that night, decides he'll make his own plans....(More to follow)..
So, I call him a few days later and see if he wants to come over. He does and after hanging out for a while, we start making out all hot and heavy.....I start to try to take his clothes off and he's acting all shady. He tells me he DOESN'T want to have sex with me....WHAT?! Honestly, I have never been told by any guy that I've gone out with (who I've been making out with, etc, etc) that they did not want to have sex with me! RED FLAG goes up in my head..."What do you mean you don't want to have sex with me? What's going on Jon?" He won't speak a word..won't tell me anything. He just says he's not in the mood and soon after leaves. Now, I know something fishy is up...I'm not stupid! So I keep a look out for clues...
Later, Kim and I go over to Skank's house to watch Grey's Anatomy and Jon comes over too...a usual Thursday night. It's a commercial break and we're all talking about the show, when Skank goes into the kitchen to get some food. Jon asks for some mashed potatoes, so she brings him some. Next thing I know, she's over on the arm of the couch, dangerously close to Jon, asking him if he wants some butter for his mashed potatoes. I can't believe my eyes! What the hell is doing on.....I turn to Kim and give her an expression that reveals my thoughts. She gives me eyes back like "I don't know, but that's fucked up and that bitch better be careful!" So I scoot closer to Jon, place my hand on his knee....ya know, little movements that should tell a girl "HEY! BACK OFF!" I think Skank finally gets the point after some death glares from me. She sits down next to Kim across the room and we continue watching Grey's Anatomy. I don't quite remember what happened after the show...all I know was I was pissed!
So later that week, I see Jon at the restaurant while I'm working. He's texting on his phone, waiting for me to be done with my chores so we can hang out, and I sit down next to him. I casually ask him what he wants to do tonight and he mentions that Skankasaurus wanted to hang out. I'm like...weird!
Now I've been taking note of everything....so I try calling Skank to ask her what's going on, because Jon certainly won't spill the beans, and Skank is supposed to be my friend (my first friend from college mind you)....nothing. I just keep getting the answering machine. I finally see her online, so I IM her, acting all sweet and innocent (because now I know something's really up...Jon won't talk and Skank is ignoring my calls)...."Ya know, Skank, I just want to know what's going on....I'm confused." Finally I weasel it out of her.....The night that Jon got mad at me for making other plans, Skank (What a bitch!) called him up and told him he should come over her house....they could watch a movie and smoke some weed. So Jon went over there, and later as he put it....got so high that before he knew it Skank was kissing him and he couldn't stop her...or some BULLSHIT! Well, apparently they hooked up....although I don't know how far this hooking up goes, but I didn't care, because we acted like we were still together and I obviously was still interested in him! SKANKASAURUS broke an unwritten chick code (Like that show "How I met your mother" with their bro codes)....You NEVER mess with a friend's ex, especially right after they break up (and as an addition were still sleeping together/hanging out together)! NEVER!
I was pissed....I went into a literary rage...I did not hold back. Over IM I told her everything I thought of her, including that she was a back-stabbing bitch...and the last thing I told her was "I'm a strong believer in Karma...and Karma's going to come back and bite you in the ass!" That day our "friendship" was done, over, finito! From that day on I refused every invitation to eat with her and Kim, because I don't break bread with my enemies, I refused to go over her house, I refused to make conversation with her.....
After that, I didn't speak to Jon for quite some time, but he called me apologizing all the time, he texted me....he would not stop trying to make up for it...buying me flowers, etc etc. Finally, I thought, he's putting in such and effort....everyone deserves a second chance, maybe I should give him one (in retrospect WRONG!).
We were unofficially dating for a few months, then I went to Bermuda for a 10 week internship to study cephalopod behavior (AWESOME!!!!!!) and he moved back to Ohio...yet we still said I love you to each other. I talked to him on the phone every night for a month straight (until I found out that I had roaming charges...which almost cost my dad a fortune, but we got the charges removed because the woman I had talked to at AT&T had given us bad information). After that, all we could do was IM and facebook...which we tried. Things were good and bad...on and off. I flew home to RI in August after my internship....the first thing I saw when I arrived was well of course my parents, but later...jewelry sent from Jon lying wrapped on my bed. He had missed me and sent me jewelry! A few weekends later, he was due to visit too, even though my mom hated him for the cheating incident...I was so excited!
When Jon came to RI I showed him all my favorite spots...the park, we got del's lemonade and went to the beach, we got Frosty Freeze, we had a picnic on Ocean Drive...it was great! He met my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Sara....we went to Dave and Buster's and had an awesome time! It seemed like we were doing well. He flew back to Ohio the day after our D&B fun...and that's when it happened!
I got an email from him. I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was something along the lines of "I didn't cry when I arrived in Ohio and left you. I don't love you anymore. I guess this is over....goodbye." It was much longer than that, but anyway...something like that. I was more angry than anything! REALLY? REALLY? AN EMAIL! What a shitty way to break up with somebody! What a disrespectful, rude, impersonal way to tell someone you don't care for them anymore! I felt a like Carrie in the episode of Sex and the City with the Post-it note:
Billy : All I'm saying is that there's no good way to break up with someone.
Carrie : Well, it's funny you should mention that Billy, because, actually, there is. You can have the guts and the courtesy to tell a woman, to her face, that you no longer want to see her. Call me crazy but, I think that, you can make a point of ending your relationship in a manner that does not include an e-mail, a doorman, or a missing persons report. I think you could all get over your fear of looking like the bad guy and actually have the uncomfortable break-up conversation Because, here's what; Avoiding that is what makes you the bad guy. And just so you know, Alan -
Andrew : Andrew.
Carrie : Uh huh. Most women aren't angry, irrational psychos. We just want an ending to a relationship that... That is thoughtful and decent and honors what we had together. So my point, Billy, is this; There is a good way to break-up with someone, And it doesn't include a post-it!
So you know what I did....I called that pussy ass bitch (that's right!)...Mr. I'm afraid of Confrontation...and I told him just that...that he took the pussy way out...that it was a bad way to break up with someone. It made me feel better to yell! LOL.
Have I heard from him again since then....sure. He tried to facebook friend me a little over a year ago....did I accept, No! Because I don't need that drama in my life! LOL I should have called him Mr. Email or Mr. Post-it note!
So Jon...he was a low-heeled black pump. A practical shoe that every woman needs (he was practical)...and that's why I think Skank stole him from me. She wasn't happy with the shoes she had tried on, and she wanted mine....a shoe that goes with anything, from jeans, to skirts, to dresses, to business suits...a shoe that is relatively comfortable (but still not the most for me)....Jon was the shoe who got stolen from me and never really returned.
Funny Moments with Jon:
Well you already heard about the squirting in the eye....what else can I tell you? Hmm...
This doesn't necessarily just have to do with Jon, but I'll tell you anyway. When I was a Junior in college I had a roommate, we'll call her Lola. Her and I were really good friends. Jon and I used to do things for her all the time....go pick up her car with her early in the morning from downtown St. Pete because she was too drunk the last night and didn't drive it home, take care of her when she was drunk and vomiting into a plastic bag by her bed, etc. Well at the end of Junior year, even though she had signed a contract saying that she would room with me again the following year, she decided to move in with a bunch of people in another dorm and not tell me about. So, she pretty much was screwing me over, because she was never planning to tell me and I would have been stuck with a random roommate ( I had already had enough problems with roommates, so I didn't want that!). Now, things had been starting to go down hill before this and I don't know why....all I ever was was nice to her, but to be honest I think she's just a spoiled brat...she's manipulative, and she only hangs out with you when it's convenient for her...anyway...she pissed me off. Especially because she started spreading rumors about me, pitting people against me, saying things like "Reaching for Reefs said that if I didn't room with her next year, we couldn't be friends"....how juvenile (then again she was hanging out with Skank by the end of the year, so how mature could she really be?! LOL). So I decided to act a little juvenile myself. Lola had moved most of her stuff back home for the summer and one day while she was gone, Jon and I had sex on my bed, and when it was time for him to cum, guess where he did......I'll give you three guesses: 1) her chair, 2) her pillow, 3) in a pair of her shoes....If you guessed #2..on her pillow..you are correct! And afterwards we flipped her pillow over and left it for her to collect later. It may not be funny to you, but it was funny to me and still pretty much is to this day!
I can't really think of any more funny stories, but I'll post some if I come up with anymore...
Hope you enjoyed my low-heeled black pumps....go ahead and steal them, cause I don't want them anymore! LOL ;)
Until Next Time,
Reaching for Reefs
skankasaurus!! lmfao I almost peed my pants, awesome!
ReplyDeleteLoL! Glad you liked that!
ReplyDelete