Where do I even start? I guess I could start by telling you the story of how my Friday night went. Steph, Dave, Jocelyn, and a few of my other friends went out for sushi really late for dinner...there was an hour wait at one of my fav sushi spots and we seriously didn't sit down and get our food til about 11pm. After this fun food fest, we decided to skip hanging out with some people who were going to this country-western bar called Round Up (none of us being country fans), and go into downtown Ft. Lauderdale to my favorite outside bar to drink and dance! Now, let me begin by telling you that I am so SICK of bar guys...even when you think they are ok, they turn out to be a miserable disaster...disrespectful, cocky, douchebags! This night I ended up dancing with this guy who was pretty fun at first, doing funky moves and vibing on the same dance waves as me, but then kept grabbing my ass incessantly and at one point in the night, literally took my hand and put it on his crotch!!!! After doing so I said "Wow, you got balls" and he replied "Yes, big balls, and my friends call me something-something-COCK-something something." See...after he said he had big balls, I just tuned him out. After he was done telling me about some non-sense name, I said "Well, I like respectful guys" and gave him a so-you-aren't-getting-any look, to which he responded: "Obama said change, so change" and continued with "You know you want this.." I was so done with him. Ew, gross! GET OVER YOURSELF!!! Later, when he returned from the bar and tried to grind with me on the dance floor, I avoided him. I left that night without having given my number away and quite fine with that outcome.
The next day, my friend from undergrad (who had said she might party with us the night before but didn't make it due to being tired, a long cab ride, whatever..), we'll call her Kasey, was supposed to be coming to see me and hang out. For me, this was really the last chance I was giving her....you see, Kasey lives in Boston now, and every time I go home, I would ask her if she wanted to meet up. She'd said yes to me several times, "Oh we'll meet at the Providence Place mall" or "Oh yea...come up and visit me in Boston," but EVERY time she FLAKED out on me. She'd make up excuses like something happened with her brother or I don't know...just any kind of lame excuse. She also would come down to Florida every once in a while and always say, "Hey, I'll be down in Florida. I'll let you know when I get down there so we can hang out" and then never ever call or text me. Kasey is horrible at staying in touch. She never calls you back, you can't leave a message for her because her voicemail box is always full, and she rarely responds to your text messages. I hadn't seen her since graduation 3 years ago and I was disappointed in her lack of communication, so this was her last chance to make things right. Don't get me wrong though, I was extremely excited to see her.
We planned that she would leave to come see me after she picked her dad up from the airport at 4pm. She didn't get in until around 8pm, which we then went to get dinner at a lovely crepes place (the food was deeeelish!). Everything was going well...we were catching up, talking about what we were up to now and how our jobs were going. We also reminisced about the old days.
After dinner, we decided to meet up with a few of my co-workers at a bar downtown. We had fun dancing and taking advantage of the 3-for-1 drink specials. My wing woman was back again, Yes!!! Here we were, like the old days, picking up guys left and right, and having an awesome time! We even had a girl approach us in the bar on behalf of her two guys friends.. "See that guy in the white, he likes your friend, and see the guy in the black shirt, he thinks you're hot"....'What is this? Middle school?" I wanted to say.
We decided to leave my co-workers and bar hop...it was time to get our dance on and explore the strip! We went from bar to bar, testing the waters, seeing if we liked the vibe of the place, and deciding to stay or leave. At one bar, it took up to 10 minutes to get in, because Kasey had to literally look through her purse that long to find her ID....Kasey is known to own large purses and pack them with lots of crap. Also, every occasion I've been out with her, she always seems to either lose her keys or her phone. Anyway, after the 10 minute search fiasco, I decided to hold onto Kasey's ID for easy access purposes.
Eventually, after several more drinks in our systems and dance-offs with a few skilled men (we literally made room on the floor and had a dance fight on the floor, in which I'm pretty sure I won! LOL Of course!), we found our way to my favorite outside bar (Yay! Second night in a row!). Moments at that bar faded into each other, but generally here's what went down: Kasey and I dancing on the bar, Kasey making out with this weird Fisherman dude who smokes when he drinks (ew), Me dancing on the bar with this random birthday girl who gave me a few sips of her drink, Me having one dollar bills shoved into the top of my skirt by several guys as I continued to dance on the bar, Kasey still making out with the weird fisherman dude, Kasey telling me we should take the weird fisherman dude home (umm..noooo), creepy engineers trying to dance with both of us, Fisherman dude buying all of us (including the engineers) drinks, weird fisherman dude trying to hook me up with a guy at the bar, me pointing out some hot (Canadian) guys that walked by saying "I want that one," Kasey walking over to the hot Canadian guys and talking to them, me getting one of the hot Canadian guys' numbers....Yep! Craziness!
The craziest thing is that night, I got offered to be a part of two three-somes... COUNT IT, 2!!!! Yep...the weird fisherman dude wanted to go home with Kasey and I, which was not happening! Then, after Kasey and I left the bar to go home, I get a text from the hot Canadian guys saying, "We should have a three-some." I responded with: "What? Are you serious? With who?" "Yep...my friend and I." Woahhhh...I just got offered a Devil's three-some....this shit has never happened to me before. I've never been asked to be part of a three-some and now I have two offered to me, and one of them with TWO GUYS? What is going on?!! I felt slightly disturbed and very flattered! I told them that I didn't share, in which one of the hot Canadians asked if my friend (Kasey) was "down for" his friend. So, I asked Kasey: "Hey is it ok if the Canadians come over? Do you like his friend." Kasey said she was ok with it, but that she just needed to get a few minutes of sleep. Since the Canadians were staying about a 25 minute cab ride away, she said she'd just take a nap until they got to my place. Sounds good enough, right?!
So, after what seems like forever (and me having to explain to the cabbie at least twice how to get to my place), the Canadians finally arrive! I try to wake up Kasey, who seems sleepy, but says she'll get up in a minute. Finally she does, and Canadian #1 and her go for "a walk," while Canadian #2 and I decide to get busy. Yep....first and probably only one night stand I will ever have...Everything started off pretty good. We talked a bit, started making out, then hoped in bed, took our clothes off and I started to go down on him. Oh..after having made fun of him for his tattoo over his heart....I'm sorry, but can you get any more Canadian, then having a tattoo of a religious cross with hockey sticks forming an "X" over it and a fucking maple leaf below the hockey sticks?! REALLY?! And then above the tattoo were the words "Live Strong," which didn't really go with the whole "Canadian Theme," but apparently he just really liked that saying! LOL OMG....What a stereo-type he was! Anyway, after several minutes of me pleasuring him, we get interrupted by his friend looking for a condom. After his friend leaves, Canadian #2 and I start to have sex....he tells me to get on top, and you know me...my favorite position is on top, so I don't argue one bit!!! I start riding it, like I usually do, when we get interrupted by his friend again, who comes in for a minute, looks around and then leaves. I don't know...weird....so we go back to doing our thing, only to get interrupted 10 minutes later by his friend AGAIN! WTF!!! This is when everything turned for the worse...
Canadian #1 comes in and says, "Dude...we gotta leave. Something isn't right..." and we both look at him, as if to say, 'What do you mean.' He continues to tell us how he and Kasey were making out and then he was fingering her, during which Kasey said that she wanted to have sex and told him that they should go inside....Canadian #1 said he then headed inside, but realized that Kasey hadn't followed him, so he goes back out to look for her, and she had taken off in her car.....just peeled out and drove away like a bat out of hell! So we all decide that I should take them home and text her on the way.....I ended up calling her at least 15 times as I was driving them back to their place and then driving myself home. Every time I called it went straight to voicemail...she had shut off her phone. I texted her several times asking if she was ok and what had happened...still nothing. I eventually went to bed (this was at 6:45am...latest and craziest night ever), leaving my phone on vibrate. I awake at 11:30am to see that I have gotten 2 texts from Kasey, which pretty much said that she was back at her dad's house on the west coast and that she was fine, but that she forgot her driver's lisence at my place, and asking me if I would drive it to her (2 and a half hours away) because she didn't feel like driving and she got a $300 speeding ticket. Seriously....I have to drive 2.5 hours just because you freaked out and decided to drive home at 6 in the morning?! Ok...whatever.
So, I continue with my Sunday plans, which were to have a full beach day with Steph (accomplished!!!). While I'm at the beach Kasey and I are texting back and forth. I told her I'd drive her ID to her (which she needs for her flight on Monday) after I was done beaching it and asked her if we could do dinner since I was driving all that way, which she agreed to. So 4pm rolls around, I text her that I'm jumping in the shower and then heading her way....no response. Then I get on the road, because I'm figuring, well I have 2.5 hours til I'm in Naples and that will give her enough time to get back to me about where I'm driving too and also I won't be stuck driving there at 8pm...I'll get in sooner. I text Kasey several times: "Ok, I'm on Alligator Alley now," "Ok...I don't know where I'm going...please get back to me," "I'm a half an hour away now," "I'm entering Naples now"...NOTHING! I called her several times as well, each time the phone ringing 3 times before going to voicemail, so I know her phone's on.
Once I get to Naples, I take the second exit off the highway, pull into a parking lot next to a Walgreens, BP station, and McDonald's and wait. I text her and say "WTF Kasey. I'm in Naples. You haven't gotten back to me and if you don't contact me within 20 minutes, I'm leaving for home." Time is ticking away...I'm calling up some friends, trying to calm down, because right about now I'm FURIOUS! I just went 2.5 hours out of my way, got a fucking speeding ticket, and this girl will not answer her calls or text me back! Twenty minutes goes by and NOTHING...so I gas up my car, get some food from McDonald's and leave! FUCK THIS SHIT!
Now, if I were not such a nice person, I could have fucked Kasey over and taken her ID back with me and said oh...too bad, you never got back to me, so I just left and took your ID with me....too late! But no...I'm a nice person, so I leave her ID with a man at the toll plaza at Alligator Alley.
I had to beg him to take it:
'Listen, I have a weird request...first, here's my money for the toll. Second, can you hold on to this ID for my friend. See I drove 2.5 hours from Fort Lauderdale to give this bitch her ID and called her and texted her all the way...I even waited for her for an hour (a little exaggeration) and she never got back to me,' I said.
"Well...you can leave it with my manager over there ma'am."
'Nope, sorry...I already went out of my way, I'm not doing anything extra...just please take it!' I implored.
"She never got back to you?"
'No and I called and texted her at least 10 times... '
"Well ok then."I then thanked him several time and sped off towards home. I text Kasey saying that I left her ID at the toll plaza, two booths from the right, with the man with dreds. Still Nothing!
About an hour after my last text I hear back from Kasey with some Cock and Bull excuse: "Oh, I'm so very very sorry. My phone went from fully charged to dead and I tried charging it..." AND BLAH BLAH BLAH! Then she tries to say she was gonna meet me half way. Really...Really....FIRST OF ALL, if your phone was dead and you couldn't charge it then WHY did it go to voicemail after THREE RINGS and not go straight to voicemail on the first ring...when phones are dead, they go straight to voicemail, SO EXPLAIN THAT! This means it was still on...I'm not fucking stupid, you sketchball! Oh and about meeting me half way...Yea fucking right, bitch....if you were going to meet me halfway, you would have mentioned BEFORE when we were making plans earlier that day for me to return your ID to you!!!! YOUR WORDS MEAN NOTHNG!
What really pisses off is the fact that she doesn't even understand why I'm not talking to her anymore...why we aren't friends anymore. She thinks it's because she "acted like a fool" that night with the Canadian guys...Sorry Sweetheart, that's not it....Maybe if you got your head out of your ass you'd think more clearly and realize that maybe I'm not talking to you anymore, because you are an UNGRATEFUL BITCH....you didn't even fucking say thank you to me for driving out of my way 2.5 hours to give you your fucking ID back (irresponsible on her part for leaving it in the first place)! You didn't answer your phone or get in contact with me when I tried to reach you a billion times to meet up with you. You would think that if a good friend drove your ID and went out of her way, that you would at least have the courtesy to STAY BY YOUR PHONE AND ANSWER IT when they call....oh and if you needed your ID so badly to get on the plane home the next day, you think you would make it a PRIORITY to do anything and everything to get your ID back, but you DIDN'T....so that's why I'm PISSED AT YOU!
This was the last straw.....first you fucking flake out on me at least 3 times and then you pull that shit and you think I'm gonna just forgive you for acting like a sketchball and let you walk all over me...I DON'T THINK SO HONEY.....YOU CAN TAKE THAT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!
So, there's my update about my crazy weekend which included three-somes being offered to me, my first and only one night stand, and an ungrateful bitch! I hope you never get into this situation....at least the last one!
Until Next Time,
Reaching for Reefs
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