Ok...so after Roberto and I broke up I was devastated for a long time. I told you...I couldn't eat or sleep normally for quite some time. I had dreams of Roberto...our first kiss, the last thing he said to me, etc etc...He kept haunting me. There was no way I was ready for anything serious. I couldn't stand the thought of putting myself back out there...in the dating world; giving 100% of myself again, just to be crushed AGAIN. The thought was just heartbreaking. Just because I didn't want anything serious, didn't mean I didn't want anything at all though......as the months went by and March came around....I hadn't had sex in a while and it was getting to me.
Two of my friends from the west coast (of FL..duh!) came to visit me one weekend. It was promised to be an awesome time...partying, good food, etc. And well...that's pretty much what it ended up being. First we went out to dinner at this lovely Hookah spot, which was lots of fun! We drank way too much (or at least two of us did) and as the night passed, we found our way to one of my favorite spots in Ft. Lauderdale....My friends and I danced on the bars, danced on the table in front of the DJ's....just had an absolute blast. I had several guys dancing with me....I needed and ego boost and I got it! Then I met Matt.
Oh Matt....he started dancing with me, grabbing on me and the song ended, and I moved on to another guy. But I could see him making eyes at me, wanting me, from across the place. Soon he was back dancing with me again and then suddenly it just started to downpour. Did anyone care though? No...We were all getting soaked and everyone just kept dancing! I felt like I was in a music video....my wet, curly hair with water dripping from it...throwing it from side to side, as per the usual.....soaked from head to toe and absolutely loving it! I kissed Matt while dancing in the rain....what a cliche, movie moment. Soon to be ruined by him asking if he could come home with me and sleep on my futon....."Yea right dude...who do you think I am?!!! And by the way, I have no room since my friends are staying over!" I responded to his question, somewhat offended.
I still gave him my number though and right after I left he texted me....big surprise...
"Hey beautiful"......Yep, he was one of those guys...let me flatter you severely until I get in your pants.
Anyway, I didn't really text him back. I was way too tired and we ended up getting pulled over by the cops because I accidentally had an expired registration...damn it, I knew I forgot something on my birthday! My friend, the one who hadn't been drinking, was driving. The cop was actually pretty nice, so at least our night wasn't completely ruined.
A few days later, Matt and I decided to get together to eat dinner and chill. I thought..."Oh cool...maybe this will be a date and he'll pay for me"...Wrong! That's ok....I wasn't really expecting much from him anyway. We ended up going back to my place. This is the night I crossed him off the relationship list and added him to the "I'm going to use you for sex " list, because I found out he had cheated on his ex girlfriend who he had been going out with for 3 year and then he tried to blame in on alcohol...douche! No relationship potential whatsoever...in my eyes...perfect..I didn't need that hassle anyway!That night we did everything except sex.
It was 3 days later that I saw him next...and this time I was ready to go. He pulled the whole "Want to watch a movie" line and I was thinking, 'What are we...in middle school again?!' I just chuckled to myself. I could already tell this was going to be an interesting night. I think we watched "Surf's Up" and I made him wait to do anything with me until I heard my favorite line....when the fire urchin gets stepped on and he says: "Stepped on me...he danced on me! Look...broken, broken, gone, gone, broken!" as the urchin is pointing to all his damaged spines! I love that part! Makes me laugh every time!
Anyway, we are getting down..and then just as fast as it started, it was over. Boo! I was so disappointed....I hadn't gotten off in 3 and a half months!! But I figured, ok...it's our first time together and no one really is used to one another...it's always a bit awkward, so I'll let him slide.
The next time Matt wanted to get together, I was a little hesitant. See...it was a bad time of the month and I wasn't sure how he would react to that. I told him he could come over, hoping that I could at least get some lip action! So...we "watched" another movie. Soon enough we were making out...all hot and heavy..he's taking off my shirt when I tell him the first time: "Just to let you know, it's not a good time of the month." I guess he didn't care, because he just kept undressing me. Oh, and by the way, I must have told him at least 5 times that I had my period, but whatever. So I'm thinking...ok, he doesn't care! Sweet....I'm totally gonna get mine tonight and then we'll take a shower together! WRONG again!
I get on top and start getting real into it.....riding him as hard and fast and I want. He keeps trying to smack my ass, and I'm like "No no no no....please don't....you will mess me up." So, I guide his hands to my thighs so he can hold on to them while I'm doing my thing. I'm getting so close....just on the brink of getting there when he goes..."Hey wait...stop...didn't you just say you had your period." 'Um yea....I told you like 5 times'......his face looks confused for a minute, then he says "Oh, I'm going to hop in the shower...come on." He keeps trying to get my to come to the shower and I keep refusing:
'No..'
"No...why?" Matt asks.
'Because I can't get off that way and condoms don't work very well in the shower.'
After this little argument, Matt proceeds to get all whiny because there is "stuff" on him. 'Wow...what a little bitch'...I'm thinking in my head. I yell at him "Just wash it off!" He then asks me for a towel, which I whip at his face and climb back into bed angry.
Matt finally finishes in the bathroom and comes back to bed, asking me why I am shooting him death stares! Really...really I have to explain this to him!!!! So I try to put it in layman's terms:
'I was just about to get off when you rolled me off of you and it's been THREE AND A HALF MONTHS since I've gotten off.' He still looks at me lost...what more do I have to explain?!
'Ok....it's like if you were on top and just about to get off and I kicked you out of my apartment.' "What...you are kicking me out of your apartment?" he asks....
'No, no nooooooo....I'm giving you an example...look...the two times a girl is the horniest is when she is ovulating and when she is menstrating ok....and on top of that it's been three and a half months...do you get it now?!!!'
"Yea I guess so..."
'Good...now you better make it up to me RIGHT NOW!'
And so, I pretty much forced him to have sex with me again and damn it, this time I did get off and it felt good!
Oh, by the way, in the middle of the night I find that he is spooning with me and I think to myself 'Oh, this is so nice...my friend with benefits is spooning with me'.....then I find out why! I should have known...he wanted round 2 or was this 3...whatever you want to call it.....So, I'm like sure why not. So we start going at it again and then he FREAKS out because my kitten brushed up against his foot. He completely stops having sex with me. I'm like, "Dude...just put the cat on the floor!" What a douche, right?! Oh...it only gets better!
So, after this whole situation...I really wasn't in the mood to see him any time soon...especially after he had told me that I was high maintenance in bed, because I wouldn't let him smack my ass when I was on top....even though I explained that I know the speed, the angle, and the momentum I need to get off, but whatever. He was more of a pain in my ass then pleasure.
Foolish me....I gave him one more try. This third time was the worst, because I told him I didn't want to use his trojans, I wanted to use my durex. See...in my past experiences, Trojans break on me (and Lifestyles dry out) and so I didn't want to use them. But in the middle of having sex (Go figure!) he stops and says "I don't think this Durex is ok...I think it has a hole" and I sarcastically snip back at him "Oh yes...cause I'm a psycho bitch that pops holes in condoms..." So, Matt switches to a Trojan Endz...great, just great....but we are in the heat of the moment and I want to get off again, so I'm just like...whatever! Yea well...I should have stopped him, because that condom with it's spermicide gave me an allergic reaction....I was extremely itching and irritated for at least 4 days after....I mean to the point where I thought I was gonna scratch off my whole vagina! When the allergic reaction died down, I ended up with a yeast infection cause the spermicide just fucked up my whole system down there....way to go Matt!
That's it...I was done...DONE DONE DONE! Matt continued to text me 3, 4, 5 times. I kept making up excuses: "Oh, I'm too tired" or "I'm sick" or "I don't feel like it tonight" etc etc until I was tired of lying. One night when he asked me if I was "watching the Heat game," which by the way I fucking hate professional basketball because no one plays defense and it's all about who can showboat and throw up as many shots as possible, I told him the truth....I text him and said: "Listen...this isn't working out anymore and here's why: 1. You suck as a friend with benefits. Whenever you text me I get back to you and we usually hook up, but when I text you things like 'I have a headache you should come over and fix, etc etc' you always say no. Oh...and we never do anything outside of the bedroom...it's called FRIENDS with benefits, not just benefits. 2. You never listen to any of my suggestions. When I tell you I can only get off on top, you don't believe me...umm hello I haven't been a virgin since I was 17...I think I know myself. And also, I told you I don't like Trojans and you go and use a Trojan and then you know what happens to me....I get an allergic reaction to your damn condom!
Matt writes back that maybe our schedules just haven't been matching up and that the second reason is because he doesn't want to have babies, which I then point out that Trojans are just as effective as Durex. I then tell him: "You are too paranoid and uptight and you don't make sex fun!"
After that, I didn't hear from him for several hours and when I do hear from him all he says is: "So..you seem upset" and I'm like "Yea...well there are two things you can do: fix it or forget about it" and he just writes back "I guess I'll text you later."
Since that day, he's texted me to get together several times....once which I almost gave into...when I was sick at home and could have used a little comforting touch. But then I thought....'What am I thinking...this kid causes me more trouble then satisfaction....no thanks!"
So Matt....he's that annoying pair of shoes you have. You know...everyone has a pair....the ones that you keep around because they are cute, but you always wonder why you haven't thrown them out yet. I still have Matt's number in my phone...and I still might text him in the future, but that's only til I get a better friends with benefits down here. What an annoying shoe!!!!
Good luck girls, because I have a feeling there are a lot of annoying shoes out there with a lot of drama and I'm not putting up with any of their bullshit!
Until Next time,
Reaching for Reefs
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